Given the means, you’d probably buy four Mercury Marine Verado 400 V-10 outboard engines for your loved one’s new center console. That’s just the kind of person you are—generous to a fault—right? You’re special that way.
As cute as she is, Sally the wonder pooch owned by performance-boat enthusiasts Julie and Kelly O’Hara of Upstate New York would be even cuter in a Mercury Marine-branded collar.
Meanwhile, back in the real world you may be looking for something a tad less spendy for the powerboat enthusiast in your life. To that end, the Fond du Lac, Wis., company sent out a gift guide this week. Having read through it, I have five suggestions you’ll thank me for later.
If stocking stuffers—you know, the holiday gift-giving version of foreplay—are part of your tradition, Mercury Marine offers the perfect solution with its “Dockstore Package.” For just $39.95, you get a Mercury station cap, a collapsible-can koozie, a 20-ounce Himalayan travel tumbler, a keychain, stickers and a coupon card for the Mercury Marine Dockstore itself. Unless you’re buying for Sasquatch, that should be enough to fill a stocking.
Until I became a small-dog owner last year with Louie the Chihuahua-mix rescue—half Chihuahua, 25 percent fruit bat, 15 percent rattlesnake and 10 percent scorpion according to his DNA results—I would have scoffed at this gift idea. But sucker for the little guy that I am, yesterday I ordered a Mercury Marine powerboat chew-toy for him. If the toy is too rich for your blood at $20.95, Mercury Marine offers a bunch of other less-expensive goodies from collars to leashes and even bandanas for your precious pooch. Check it out.
Thanks to this chew-toy from Mercury Marine, Louie the Chihuahua is in for one heck of a Christmas.
Let’s face it, given the relentless branding done by sports clothing companies from Nike to Under Armour there’s a good chance your kids already are expensive human billboards. One more prominently logoed item, say a hoodie for your teen at $19.95 or a $13.95 onesie for your infant—and Mercury Marine-branded bibs are even cheaper at $8.95—certainly won’t hurt anyone. Plus, you’ll be indoctrinating your spawn into the powerboating world at an early age, and you can never start them too young. Take a look.
Tired of giving branded clothing to the gearhead in your life? Want something a little more creative that he’ll never grow out of? You could give him a Mercury Marine Igloo Terrain Deep Fog cooler for a cool $99.95. Better still, if the dude in your life has a man-cave you could get him a set Mercury Marine bar stools for $119.95 a piece. Something to consider.
Stop right here, right now, take a deep breath and think for a moment. Unless you know for a fact that your gal wants Mercury Marine-branded “Wave Wash” joggers, a “Muscle” tank top or some other article of clothing she’ll never wear and resent you for till the day you die, head to a real jewelry store and do some real damage.
Trust me, this is the best advice I’ll ever give you. And it’s free. Not the jewelry, of course.
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