This one falls under the category of, “Things You Can’t Believe Somebody Actually Wrote.” But it’s so bad it’s funny, and in today’s high-performance powerboat world we could all use a little funny.

So with that in mind, I submit you to the “What You Need to Know About Luxury Speed Boats” blog credited to one Lucy Bushman.

Be sure to sit down when you read it. And you probably don’t want to eat or drink as you read or you might spray your laptop.

There are so many gems here, but my favorite is No. 19:  “Luxury speed boats have spacious cabins, beautiful accommodations, and the ability to make all of your acceleration dreams come true.”

Sign me up.